Prayers. Safety. Security. Gratitude. Genuine love. So good... so beautiful.

Hearing. Still. After all this time. 97

Life has been busy lately! No complaints, just constant priority-shifting... One thing I am grateful for, though, is that I have continued reading. I tackle this mainly while working out on the elliptical or walking on the treadmill but some reading (and exercise, for that matter) is better than none! :-)


My latest reading is from Chris Stedman's "Fatheist - How an Atheist  Found Common Ground with the Religious." It was truly inspiring to me. I am nearly compelled to write a letter to Mr. Stedman to thank him for his work, both in contributing to humanism and telling the world about it. I applaud him for sharing his story!


Several aspects of Chris' story appeal to me, but two passages in particular resonate with me and I will share here:

After reading a prayer to a patient, Marvin, who could not speak with whom he worked …

“I realized that though I couldn’t decipher why the prayer was so important to him, it was. It touched him in a profound way. And because I shared in this significant element of his life, our relationship was more honest and real. I could’ve found another staff member to do it, or I could’ve refused; it was well within my rights to say, “I’d rather not, Marvin.” But I realized that a relationship that didn’t account for this important piece of Marvin’s life was an incomplete one. Though I couldn’t fully comprehend the import of the prayer for him, sharing in it helped me understand him a bit more. Just as we had a communication barrier, this prayer was another difference between us. But like our different means of communicating, learning about our differences in this area brought us closer together.”

 “…it sounds like exactly what our world needs – people of all different stripes and convictions coming together to deal with things that matter, announcing our differences without fear, enthusiastically embracing our commonalities, and intentionally seeking out points of mutuality and understanding in the face of vastly different metaphysical commitments. The environment that IFYC (InterFaith Youth Core) worked to create has profoundly impacted my vision for a society in which people engage across lines of religious and nonreligious identity to improve the world through service…”

Chris later goes on to cite survey statistics regarding limited understanding of certain sects of life. His basic message is that although Americans admittedly have limited understanding of a variety of religious beliefs and gay lifestyles, in general they think of differences in a negative light. Chris drives home the point that by engaging everyone (knowledgeable or not), stereotypes will be deconstructed which will enhance protection and respect from others regardless of their backgrounds.


Though my spirituality and belief system is different from Mr. Stedman's, I agree with his rationale and goals for trying to make the world a better place harmoniously. I can't understand why people continue to fight to try to ensure that their beliefs are understood as "right" and, perhaps, the only way to believe. Maybe those folks are just trying to be heard and trying to open the door for others to share in their beliefs. For that, I respect them but do appreciate when those same people are open to understanding that my faith differs from theirs and that it deserves just as much respect.


At the end of the day (or beginning for me in today's case), I want to work for peace. Peace for all. And understanding. We've all had highs and lows, ebbs and flows, in life and all deserve to be respected equally. If we work together, this can be reality and in the meantime we can make the world a better place by serving all others. THAT is true inspiration!

There is something so oddly comforting about entering some Christian churches. Recently I took the opportunity to have a date with my mini-me to see her friend and family perform in their annual cantata. Though I do not consider myself Christian at this point in my life, the familiarity of being in a traditional Christian church is somewhat comfortable to me. Perhaps it is a reminder of a home that once was for me and it takes me back to some of those times throughout my life… I’m still pondering.

Since having a conversation with my husband about celebrating Christmas despite not being Christian, I have been reflecting on exactly what Christmas means to me. As a child, though I attended Christian church with some regularity, I always felt distant from the “reason for the season.” In retrospect, I think this has much to do with the fact that the Christian doctrine never fully resonated with me personally. I didn’t realize that at the time though. In fact, I continued to push myself to find something for me in Christianity and while dating the son of a preacher, I began attending church regularly throughout some of high school and in to college. I felt strong in my faith in a power greater than myself, but couldn’t really bring myself to worship any one individual for it. I realized over time that Christian ideals are just something that don't jive with me. I don’t argue with those who believe. For them, it is their path and I’m happy for them. I see and read about so many great teachers (including Jesus). I would be kidding myself to say I don’t miss the community of church – I do, but I can’t force myself in to a mold in which I do not fit. It just doesn’t feel right.

I digress. So thinking through the meaning of Christmas. I have always valued the feelings of joy and happiness present in this season, along with traditions which, for me, have included caroling and family. I am grateful to have some traditions and family and (a few) friends with which to share them.

I have been out of sorts lately, and I think it’s just the place at which I need to be for now, but I’m hoping the draw of this season jolts me back in to me. For me to be comforted by something so now far-removed from who I am brings me hope that I will once again align my focus to the importance of my life, and therefore continue to make great memories and do the work of my life’s purpose – to love and to mother.

Letting go. No matter how seemingly easy (if avoiding) or difficult (if facing head on), it is right. Last night I went through my race bag from 2010, the year of 30 races. I had multiple shirts, bib numbers, trophies, and medals. I had no conscious idea I was not only physically holding on to these items but also mentally doing so and the act of sorting through the bag hit me harder than I anticipated. Through two moves and in preparation for a third, it is time to let go. I'll always treasure the memories and lessons learned from that experience....

Life is busy these days... back to work with mom duties too. Glad to be at it, but still finding a balance. I know this will take time, but it's well worth the time invested. Loving the joy my girls provide me daily, but never forgetting everything that brought me to where I am.

I recently read Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection. It's simple message resonates with me so deeply as I have been lately dealing with deep feelings and questions. Here are some quotes from the book that struck me. Enjoy and may you choose to be as authentic and true to yourself as possible each and every day. Namaste.

"Certainly, the people we love inspire us to heights of love and compassion that we might have never achieved otherwise, but to really scale those heights, we often have to go to the depths of who we are, light/shadow, good/evil, loving/destructive, and figure out our own stuff in order to love them better. So I'm not sure it's an either/or but a both/and. We love others fiercely, maybe more than we think we love ourselves, but that fierce love should drive us to the depth of our selves so that we can learn to be compassionate with ourselves." -Renee Cobb

"We don't change, we don't grow, and we don't move forward without the work. If we really want to live a joyful, connected, and meaningful life, we must talk about things that get in the way."

"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen."

"You don't measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn't wear a watch - it's timeless. It doesn't care how long you know someone. It doesn't care if you had a 40-year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins."

~Jeff Brown

I am so grateful for all who have I encountered on my journey who have assisted me in my transformation. I am still very much in the process... I feel the shift in me as I grow and shed "layers" of the old me. Some days are good while others are hard, but at the end of each day I spend time identifying my gratitude, for it helps to bring me back to what is truly important. Love is not always the easiest thing to come by or give, but when I reflect on my life I will be able to say that I know what it is for me, and for that, I am grateful. Thank you!