Last night in a moment of clarity I had a realization. I have been fairly silent on this blog about the little bundle of joy I will be welcoming to the world in just about seven weeks. I have experienced the gamut of emotions associated with this event and pretty much every event that I've encountered or has replayed in my mind over the past seven months. What a ride it has been, but in the end I still know I am right where I am meant to be and she is meant to be my baby girl, and me her mom.

I digress, though. My realization as I have fully entered this seventh month of pregnancy is the metaphor for this stage being the 20th mile of a full 26.2 mile marathon. I know intellectually that the end is near, however, still not in full sight. I am depleting of energy and it is difficult to stomach sustenance at this point. Physical stamina is important, but mental strength is paramount here. Though tired, the core of me remains and the drive to see myself across the "finish line" will get me there. I have no doubt.

So while the two are very different experiences in my life for a multitude of reasons, they are very much the same. Having finished a full marathon (and perhaps previously giving birth to a baby girl), I know I will be well throughout the experience. I wouldn't be honest if I said that the unknown of welcoming a new life wasn't somewhat daunting to me, but I am as ready as I'll ever be to meet my tiniest mini-me. I love her so much already!

"It's just another day."

I can't tell you how many birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and other special days I have made that statement. Over the past few years I realize that this statement was made in the past in concert with my humble personality. I continue to remain humble, however, I now realize just how much this statement belittled the meaning and symbolism behind some of the very important days I was labeling as unimportant. With this awareness, I have opened my eyes to the need of celebrating future special days and remembering their deeper meanings. I am grateful for the knowledge of this lesson.

"Challenging periods are our invitation to grow, to reorder at a higher level of expression. It's part of an eternal process of growth and evolution. As human beings, our evolution is one of consciousness, of developing a keener awareness of purpose and connection to the Divine, and thus to all of life.

Evolution doesn't eliminate challenges, but as we grow, our relationship to challenge becomes more nuanced. We learn to play. We notice disturbances in patterns and celebrate them as harbingers of growth. The less we resist, the more easily we navigate through unfamiliar territory.

We develop agility, flexibility, and openness. We become meaningful participants in life's ever-expanding expression. We develop new ideas and creative solutions to previously daunting problems. We learn to lean into the substrate of perfection to inspire us with new possibilities."

~Erika Luckett

And meaningful words. So very grateful to have saved an email which I re-read periodically and needed to revisit tonight. Just an excerpt but very telling of a friend who loved me unconditionally...

"I hope and pray that I did help you face and overcome your demons. But now you must move on. The world is a wonderful place, with many delightful surprises and much joy -- in even the most challenging of circumstances. Go and discover it all and help others who need your wisdom, grace and strength. Do so with full knowledge that I am so very proud of you, and will cherish the memory of your courage in taking this step for ever."

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kind friendship over the years and across the distance. Your words will forever help to remind me that I am graceful, full of wisdom, and strong. Bless you for calling it out so directly and sharing it with me.

Intense emotion. From the joys and sorrows my mini-me experiences and shares with me on a daily basis to the brief months a soul needed me to help move him from his past by letting go and processing it to his future successful and happy life, I'm eternally grateful. For those experiences, no matter how hard they seemed or may seem at times, are the ones which provide me the fortitude to carry on. I'm going through some tough times emotionally right now and wish I could be stronger but when I think about where I've been and what I experience daily just by being a mom, friend, family member - I know I am strong. My flame is still burning - somewhere deep within. I thank the universe for allowing certain events and souls to make that flame grow and provide me with an appreciation for the times, like now, when it has faded somewhat. It burns and that is all that matters.

When I heard this song a few years back, all I could do was smile and think of my little one. I began singing this to her and we both fell in love. Now as we will soon welcome her little sister in to this world, she tells me this is HER song. Though she will have to share a lot with little sis, I will let her have this one all to herself.

You Were Born by Cloud Cult

You were born into a strange world.
Like a candle, you were meant to share  the fire.
I don't know where we come from, and I don't know where we go.
But my arms were made to hold you, so I will never let you go.
Cuz you were  born to change this life.
You were born to chase the light.
You were  born...

Love your mother, yeah she's s good one.
She'll build you armor; keep you warm as a hen.
The stars may fall and the rains may  pour,
But I will love you evermore.
You were born to make this  right.
You were born to chase the light.
You were born...

Oh my  precious, oh my love, when they come to take me,
I will hold you from  above.
I don't know why we're here, and I don't know how,
But I'm here  with you now, I am here with you now.
Cuz you were born to change this  life.
Cuz you were born to make this right.
Cuz you were born to chase  the light.

Finding fantastic reads like this one:

http://renee-robinson.com/a-letter-to-my-boys-the-real-reason-i-say-no-to-electronics-repost/

It is worth every minute it takes to read. I have regained clarity in to how I want to raise my own girls.