Gorgeous weather. I'm pretty sure it's been a source of inspiration to me previously, but today it was stellar. I walked outside and enjoyed everything from the warm sun on my face to the birds chirping. So very grateful for all the good in my life currently and what is to come. I am content and very much at peace.

News. Tonight I received one of the strangest phone calls I've ever received in my life. It was from my mom who proclaimed nothing was wrong per say, but that she had some news to tell me. She first asked me if I remembered my grandparent's two best friends, a couple who we will call Bob and Sally. I replied, yes of course. Those two couples were inseparable! Well, apparently Bob shot and killed Sally this morning and then killed himself. This information stopped me in my tracks. I very quickly traversed the depths of my mind thinking back on all the happy times I personally shared with the couple and the stories of other happy times I had heard from my grandparents over the years. After a few seconds my first question was, "were either of them sick?" The answer to that was that Bob was to start dialysis in the very near future. Come to find out, Bob and Sally had also recently sold their house and bought a condo on which they were to settle Friday. Their house was packed up with the appearance that they were ready to move to their new home. My next question was, "did they leave a note?" My mom did not think a note had been found as that was not relayed to her. My mom said she is really glad that my grandparents did not live to see this. I mentioned that somewhere somehow they knew this happened. Then my mom said she feels bad for Bob because he wouldn't be going "where the others have gone." The comment caught me off guard. I actually told her I disagreed because I know for a fact that my soul has lived previous lives and that I believe Bob may have a more difficult existence next time around but that he wouldn't be separated from the others... I got off the phone in a bit of a haze and tried to begin processing the information.

At 89 and 90 years old, Bob and Sally lived a fairly good life. They did not have any children by choice and made a decent, but simple life for themselves. I have a bunch of scenarios playing out in my mind over this situation. What if Bob wanted to spare Sally of the heartache of watching the man to whom she'd been married for close to 70 years go through dialysis and ultimately die? What if he talked about taking his own life because he didn't want to live a difficult existence and she said she didn't want to or wouldn't live without him? I highly doubt Bob had malicious intent, but what if he did not tell Sally of his plans to end both of their lives? What if the idea was Sally's but she knew she wouldn't have the heart to go through with the plan so she asked Bob to do it? There are so many what ifs, so many it could be this way or it could be that...

At face value, the situation appears to be a sad one but ultimately, if it is what they both wanted, maybe it's not so sad after all. What I do know is that I have no right to judge Bob or Sally over this situation. If there is a heaven and a hell as my mom suggests, I can't tell you where anyone goes. Can one act that appears to be evil be grounds for a soul to be forever condemned to hell? I have a hard time believing it. In fact, if it is the case - I will be going to hell too. However, I have a very different perspective to which I alluded earlier. I believe our souls are born and die and are reborn over and over again. Perhaps Bob, Sally, and even myself will have a slightly harder go of life next time around to learn the lessons we need to learn (if not already learned in this lifetime). Though I respect the opinions of others, I often wish minds were more open to varying ideas.

So while I process this information, I trust that my mind is open to loving and understanding the various types of love which may or may not drive people to do things our society considers immoral, evil, and unfair.

Warm weather. Good days. Comfort. Faith. Quiet. Love. Contentment. Peace.

Even though the sounds can be overpowering at times, I love hearing the sound of my girl and her friends playing together. I can tell they are in complete joy. :-)

Spring = new life. There's extra pep in my step just thinking about it! :-)

Good reading. I came across an excerpt from Brian Weiss' Same Soul, Many Bodies today that resonated very deeply with me:

"After Only Love is Real, my book about soul mates, came out, I received a letter from a woman that read, 'Well, I met my soul mate, but now I'm married. I have three children. He's married and has two children. Why didn't we meet when we were teenagers?'

Because destiny had a different plan. They were supposed to meet later. People come into our lives at certain times for various reasons having to do with lessons to be learned. It is not a coincidence that they didn't meet at a much earlier age when they did not have other commitments. I think the reason people meet later is to learn about love in many different ways and about how to balance this with responsibility and commitment. They'll meet again in a different lifetime. They must be patient."

That is profoundly moving to me. Perhaps it's because I come from the same camp as Dr. Weiss. Perhaps it's because I know exactly to that which he refers. Either way, I am grateful to have found this passage with which I can so deeply identify.

Transition. Not knowing what the future holds. Sometimes it is a demotivator, but for now I'm trying to keep it positive...